Bringing Home Di Di

First Day of School (Toddler/Kindergarten)

2010-08-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

Max's 3rd Birthday!

2010-08-25T19:16:00.000-07:00

The Beach

2010-08-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

Alaska

2010-08-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

Max's IEP

2010-05-31T07:31:00.002-07:00

I'm behind on posting, as usual.

When Max turns three in August, his speech services will no longer be provided by Infant Toddler Services. They will instead be provided through our local school district. Because he has a summer birthday, they wanted to have his evaluation done and his Individual Education Plan completed before school was out for the summer so that he could immediately start services when school resumed. Great. Except they told me this about three weeks before the whole thing needed to be complete. This meant that I had to schedule and attend a hearing evaluation followed by an evaluation by the speech therapist followed by a meeting to review and approve/disapprove his IEP. If I declined his IEP we would then have to get a new one written and approved during this time as well. I'm sure this is no big deal for most people, but for me to find that time to take off of work at the last minute is difficult. But, we got it all squeezed in.

Thankfully, the speech therapist who did his evaluation and will be doing his speech therapy next year seems reasonable. I'm not sure how experienced she is with cleft affected kids and I'm not sure how big of a difference that will make. But, she at least seems pleasant and willing to learn and work with us. She also seemed receptive to some of my concerns about Max's initial IEP. She had him down for only thirty minutes a week at first. He is currently getting one hour of services. As soon as I mentioned that I'd like him to have a full hour she switched him to two thirty minute sessions/week. I think this will work even better than one one hour session. It makes me wonder if I should have asked for more time. I also questioned whether he would be getting individual vs group services and explained my concerns about group therapy for him. She seemed receptive and guaranteed at least one of the thirty minute sessions would be individual, but said that the second one would somewhat depend on how many children needed services and what their issues were. We'll see. Thankfully we do have some coverage for speech services through our insurance (20 hours/year). Once I know what the school based services are going to look like, I'll try and add some private coverage on top of that.

Max is progressing in speech, but it's been a bit slow. Not unexpected. Everyone who spends time with him notices that he is easier to understand, but I don't think an outsider would understand much of what he says. This makes his momma's heart worry about starting school in the fall, but I'm hoping it will encourage him to be even more understandable. He has a lot of sounds that he can make, but doesn't unless he has strong encouragement. I think this is what frustrates me the most. I think some of it is his two year old battle for control, but I also think that his palate is still very short and has two small fistulas so I think it is a lot of work for him to make those sounds. I'm anxious to see what the cleft team thinks when we go back in August. (Assuming I can ever get his appointment made - I've been trying for 10 days with no result.)

And now ballet

2010-05-14T08:08:00.001-07:00

First Voice Recital

2010-05-12T18:14:00.000-07:00

My Girl's Parent Teacher Conference

2010-04-12T18:49:00.001-07:00

BRAG ALERT - Go no further unless you want to hear my shameless brags about Elise!

I am so proud of Miss Ellie. We went to her parent teacher conference on Thursday and got a WONDERFUL report. Most importantly she's significantly improved her listening, responsibility, and organizational skills. She's a wonderful friend. She has a great sense of humor and has been "coming out of her shell." (She takes a while to warm up to new situations.) She's really enjoying show and tell and speaking to the class. This is a something she never would have done a few months ago, and I think her voice lessons (and some maturity) are helping with this. She's also doing very well with the academics. She recognizes and can write and make sounds for all upper and lower case letters and is reading simple books. She recognizes and writes all numbers up to 25 and can count to 100 (and then some). She can do simple addition and is really enjoying it. She's even been making up her own compound addition problems. But, her favorites are still art and language.

Max's New (Old) Haircut

2010-04-12T18:42:00.000-07:00

Max's Hair in China

Max's Haircut From This Weekend

We took Max for a haircut this weekend. We've been missing his China haircut. The one he had when we first met him. We decided since the weather is warming up we'd try to replicate it. Unfortunately we didn't bring pictures and the stylist was not familiar with Chinese haircuts. We guided her the best that we could and I don't think it turned out too badly. I think we left the front a little wide and short, but it still looks cute.

The Garden Project

2010-04-11T14:07:00.001-07:00

It's all Grandma and Grandpa. This is a new venture for me. We'll see if I can manage to help her keep it alive.

After

Before

Ellie's creativity

2010-04-11T13:56:00.000-07:00

We definitely have a budding artist on our hands. Ellie's mind is constantly coming up with new projects, ideas, and creations. Her are some of her latest.

The first one is her "Jane" outfit. Think Tarzan.

The second is a hula girl made from the leaves from a strawberry.

The last is her playdough creation. It's a park with flowers, bushes, a picnic setting, and a girl jumping rope. This is seriously better than I can do with playdough.

I love this girl. She keeps it interesting.

Dental update

2010-04-11T13:53:00.001-07:00

I took both kids for their dentist visit last week.

Ellie is an old pro. She loves seeing Dr. Warden and getting her teeth cleaned. She got her first set of x-rays and her 6 year molars are set to come in soon. This means she's not far off from starting to lose her baby teeth. I can hardly believe it. That makes her seem so old. Her little pearly whites are so cute, I'll miss them.

Max did really well. He sat on my lap for the cleaning. He was a little intimidated at first, but settled right in and let them do a full cleaning. He does have one tiny superficial cavity, but we are going to wait until his next visit to have it filled. Not to shabby after being bottle fed and not having dental care for two years of his life.

Who's a handsome boy?

2010-04-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

Easter 2010

2010-04-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

We had a fantastic Easter this year. The kids woke up and opened their Easter baskets. No pictures since Max was in his undies. Max got some sand/dirt toys including a dump truck and two books, and Ellie got seeds/gardening supplies. She has been dreaming of planting a garden this year. She also got a couple of books including the second in the series of BOB books. (Since she READ the first set.) After Easter baskets, we dressed the kids and met my brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew for church and then drove to my mom and dad's. It was a gorgeous day, almost 80 degrees and sunny. We changed the kids into their play clothes and they flew kites and played with their cousins. We had a great ham lunch and then a giant Easter egg hunt. I know my kids probably had at least 50 eggs each. My sister-in-law brought the bunny from her science classroom and the kids got to play with it a bit as well. They thought that was so cool.

More Houston pictures

2010-03-10T07:42:00.000-08:00

While we were in Houston we went to the carnival at the rodeo grounds. Max was so excited to ride this dune buggy ride. When it started bouncing around he wasn't so sure. The grin never left his face, but you could tell by his eyes that he couldn't decide if he loved it or hated it. This kid has a very expressive face, you can always tell just what he's feeling.

The friends that we stayed with have a beautiful 3 month old daughter that Ellie fell in love with. She adores Max with all of her heart, but if she had been in charge we would have an infant daughter as well. (Thank goodness she's not in charge, because as cute as this little girl is, momma doesn't want to do baby again.)

2010-03-10T07:31:00.000-08:00

Last year at just about this time, we received the referral file of a cute little guy from China. As soon as we saw his picture, I started learning all that I could about who he was and where he came from. Part of my research included joining a Yahoo group for parents who had adopted from his area of China. One of the very first posts I saw when I logged onto this website was from a family who had recently brought their daughter home from his province. While their daughter had been in foster care, they had sent a disposable camera for her foster family to take pictures of her. In some of these pictures their daughter was playing with a young boy. The family was trying to locate this boy and see if he'd been adopted. Before I even looked at the pictures, I knew that it was the same boy that we were adopting. When I checked out the photos, it confirmed what I already knew. I emailed the mom right away and waited anxiously for her reply. When she saw Max's referral pictures, she agreed that it was the same boy. We have corresponded by email, followed each others blogs, and chatted on facebook since that time. This weekend, while we were in Houston, this family drove there to meet us and we spent a great afternoon getting to know them at the park. They are an awesome family and we are so blessed to have connected with them and to have this connection to our children's past.

Elise's 5th Birthday

2010-02-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

These pictures are from Elise's family/friends birthday party. As you probably can tell the theme was candy/candyland. The highlight for the kids was the candy buffett (I'm not sure the parents agreed). Games included lollipop ring toss, pin the gumball on the gumball machine, and a candyland walk.

Earlier in the day we went to school to celebrate with Ellie. She got to bring her favorite book (Angelina Ballerina Goes to the Fair), her favorite toy (Princess Farley), and a poster full of pictures of her at all stages of life. She wore the birthday crown and was the center of attention. This was her favorite part of her birthday celebration.

Elise's 5th Birthday (Party #2)

2010-02-28T07:12:00.000-08:00

This was our first year doing a school birthday party. I let Ellie pretty much plan these festivities. She wanted to have the party at Monkey Bizness. There are jump houses, blow up slides, climbing structures, and a rock wall. The kids loved it. She wanted her cake to be a "Winter Wonderland" cake. It was very appropriate for this year's winter. Lots of the girls brought home-made cards that Ellie loved opening. She had a great time.

More Chinese New Year

2010-02-20T18:46:00.000-08:00

Great Wolf Lodge

2010-02-13T18:28:00.000-08:00

Last night we took our family and my brother's family to Great Wolf Lodge. This was our Christmas gift to their family. We had a great time. We met up about 4:30 and checked into our rooms. The kids immediately got dressed for the pool. They played until about 7:00 when they finally stopped to devour some pizza. Every kid ate three slices each. They had really worked up an appetite. We then went back to the room for quick showers and a change into pajamas and headed to the lobby for story time. This of course involved popcorn and ice cream. The kids finally collapsed into bed about 9:15. They were up at 7:00 on the dot and we got dressed and had breakfast, then played in the arcade until the pool opened at 9:00. They swam for three more hours and then we took our family home for rest. K/Q/C/S were still going strong when we left. Our family's big event was Ellie mastering her fear of waterslides. She has always wanted to go down them, but has always been too scared. She finally "took the plunge" and LOVED it! That was all she wanted to do today.

Chinese New Year Dinner

2010-02-13T18:22:00.000-08:00

Tonight we met some of our friends and had a fun dinner to celebrate Chinese New Year. I dare you to look at these pictures and not see that these two are "meant to be".

What we got in the mail today

2010-02-11T15:17:00.000-08:00

1. Our returned original China dossier. The one I secretly hoped our old adoption agency had forgotten to withdraw when we sent our new one in to our new agency.

2. Max's acceptance letter to toddler school for the fall.

3. A "Smile Pinki" dvd from Smile Train.

4. Some information for our Alaska trip this summer.

Today's mail pretty much hit the highs and lows.

Face painting

2010-02-10T12:47:00.000-08:00

Dinosaur

Mermaid

Guess who we met 6 months ago today?

2010-02-09T15:12:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's already been 6 months, it feels like yesterday.

But, I can't believe he hasn't been here forever.

Daddy and Daughter

2010-02-05T19:33:00.000-08:00

After Ellie goes swimming, daddy likes to wash her hair in the sink. It's so cute!

Somebody loves stickers

2010-02-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

A Family Picture

2010-02-05T19:29:00.000-08:00

The last time we took a picture with all of us in it was in China. The only reason we thought to take this one is because we have our 6 month post-placement report coming up next week and we needed one for that. Very sad. We've got to do better.

A visit with friends

2010-02-05T19:23:00.000-08:00

Clearly they're meant to be.

This is what sisters do to brothers

2010-02-05T19:19:00.000-08:00

Max's new hair cut

2010-01-18T14:49:00.000-08:00

Wohooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-08T13:12:00.000-08:00

Max's vestibuloplasty (originaly denied by insurance as dental) - has now been covered!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to my office manager for all of her hard work!

It still ticks me off that they tried to deny this in the first place.

Max's New Favorite Shoes

2010-01-02T11:49:00.001-08:00

He's always been a shoe man; from the first day we met him.
But, these are a new find.

Chillin' in the new bean bag Santa brought

2010-01-02T11:47:00.000-08:00

Aren't those eyes beautiful?

This kid has the best pouty lip I've ever seen.

Christmas!

2010-01-02T11:44:00.000-08:00

These two are loving their new video games. Both have such intense looks of concentration. And of course these two peas in a pod had to sit in the same chair to play them.

Putting their ornaments on Grandma's tree.

I love "Leah"! Both of my kids are Signing Time fanatics.

Both kids had a great Christmas. Ellie is at that perfect magical age. Although she is already starting to question Santa.

Max enjoyed things more than I thought he would. He loved the trees and lights and decorations. He also understood presents and wanted to open them all himself.

Decorating the tree

2010-01-02T11:42:00.000-08:00

We went to put our tree up this year and all of the lights had gone out. We weren't able to fix it and had to get rid of it. We priced a new tree, but the kind we wanted were just too expensive. We pulled out a small tree that we had in the basement and let the kids decorate it all themselves with only their own ornaments. They loved it! Jason is trying to convince me that we never need a bigger tree, but mama wants to get her own ornaments out next year.

Ellie's Chritmas Program

2010-01-02T11:33:00.000-08:00

And yes, I'm way behind.

Ellie's Christmas program was too cute this year!
It was Pre-K and Kindergarden and the Pre-K class had a bird theme. You can see their hand made bird costumes below. My favorite song was Bob Marley's "Three little birds." I really need to get her on video singing it. I near tears every time. Of course, there was no video at the performance itself. You had to buy the video if you wanted one. There weren't supposed to be any pictures during the performance itself either, but that rule was broken a hundred times over. Clearly I'm still a bit bitter. The best part was when Ellie walked out on stage. We were pretty far away from the stage, but Max spotted her right away and started screaming "Ellie" and waving frantically. He did this for the first 10 minutes of the program. He was so excited to see his big sis up on stage.
Afterwards we went to visit Ellie in her classroom. She was so proud to have both sets of grandparents, Aunt Leigh, Nanny Jennifer, Brother Max, and Mom and Dad there.
We also got to see her Christmas list to Santa. My favorite is the Pet Mouse. We really had no idea that she wanted any of this.

Ellie's Medical Update

2009-12-15T13:12:00.000-08:00

I'm going to preface this post with the fact that most of it is boring medical mumbo-jumbo and it also contains graphic details about pee and poop. Read on at your own risk.

You might remember from previous posts that Elise has a condition called vesico-ureteral reflux. This is where urine passes from the bladder back into Elise's ureters instead of all out through her urethra. If Elise gets a urinary tract infection it predisposes her to kidney infections and kidney damage. Thankfully her case is mild, but we've really struggled this summer and fall with recurrent infections and some incontinence issues. We were finally able to get back in to see her Urologist yesterday to get a better understanding about what was happening and get a plan in place for how to deal with this.

First, I want to say that we've been dealing with this through Elise's regular pediatrician all summer. Three months ago I decided that we needed to get back to her specialist. I was told that I needed to repeat some tests prior to getting back into him. We tried to do that, but Elise couldn't tolerate the testing. After that, I tried for literally 1 month to get the appointment with the Urologist made. I talked to his scheduling office and at least 2 of his nurses detailing what the problems were. I was told that they couldn't do anything for me until urine cultures were faxed, or until a certain nurse was back in the office, etc. etc. Finally a got the appointment made, but had to wait another month to be seen. Well, the first thing the doctor does when he gets in the room is chastise me about not calling sooner and how they would have been doing all kinds of things if they had known what was going on. Seriously? I was fuming. But, I wanted to use my time with him to get answers not argue about his office staff so I stuffed my feelings down. Plus, he's a good pediatric urologist. I'd rather have someone who knows what he's doing, but has a bad bedside manner (he is good with Ellie). And, I did get my answers.

What we learned:
1. Infection thickens the lining of the bladder and predisposes to more infection. He suggested we go back on prophylactic antibiotics for a few months to try and break the cycle of infection. I've given in and said okay to nitrofurantoin. If she needs to be on it more than a few months I might request a change though. If Ellie gets pulmonary fibrosis as a side effect I will feel forever guilty. Only my pulmonologist friends will likely appreciate my issue with this medicine.
2. She is definitely having bladder instability and spasm. This may not be what caused the vesico-ureteral reflux, but is certainly propagating it. He stated that kids with bladder instability take an average of 2-3 years longer to resolve their reflux than kids who don't. So, we're also starting an anti-spasmodic agent.
3. Her bladder instability, spasms, and infections are all worsened by chronic constipation. We are going on a bowel regimen of fiber supplements. Her poop is supposed to be of a "toothpaste" consistency. There is actually a print out sheet that we were given with a scale of different levels of poop softness. It has pictures. It's hideous. "Toothpaste consistency" was more than I needed to know.
4. We go back in 6 months to reevaluate. At some point she will need to have the VCUG procedure that freaked her out and she wasn't able to complete the last time, but we can wait 6 months to a year depending on how she's doing and hopefully she'll be old enough to reason with better at that point. The reasoning behind this is because they do like to make sure that reflux resolves in girls prior to pregnancy otherwise it can cause problems.

Update on Speech and Insurance - AKA the nitty gritty of parenting a cleft affected child

2009-12-15T13:00:00.000-08:00

So far, Max's cleft hasn't been a big deal. The surgery and recovery weren't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Day to day, speech is really our biggest issue and Max seems to be making really good progress with that. I really like our speech therapist. As you recall, his therapy is provided through infant toddler services of Johnson County until he is three. We were lucky enough that we got one of their therapists who is very knowledgeable about cleft and speech issues. Prior to his palate closure Max could make m and vowel sounds well and could do an occasional h, w, or n sound. Now he can do h and w well, n when he chooses, b and p well, d pretty well, t and f occasionally. This is with about 4 speech visits since surgery. Also, his language is exploding. He's always tried to say a lot and mimicked well, but it's unbelievable the things he's trying to say now. Off topic, but another thing that I've noticed lately is that his play skills have skyrocketed. When he first came home he really didn't know how to play with toys or with other kids. Now, every day he's playing more. He and Ellie love hide and seek, he loves to push around toy cars, trucks, and trains, he enjoys puzzles, and he's even doing some pretend play. Yesterday he was crawling around the house meowing and pretending to be a cat. Too cute! He also LOVES Spiderman. What is it with boys and Spiderman. We almost had a major meltdown the other night when his Spiderman pajamas were dirty. Thankfully mommy found a Spiderman t-shirt that worked.

On the insurance front we got the insurance company to agree to rereview the claim. We have the operative report describing why the vestibuloplasty was necessary from a cleft repair standpoint and we also have our insurance contract that specifically states that the dental exclusions do not apply to cleft repair issues. Hopefully that will be enough. If not, we'll be getting a letter from our surgeon and we will file an official appeal as well as sending letters to the state insurance commission and our state senators and representatives.

Elise's advent calendar

2009-12-09T19:05:00.001-08:00

Our kids are very into opening the advent calendar every day. They do not appreciate having to take turns though. So Ellie decided to create her own advent calendar for her personal use. I was very impressed. She made it in the shape of a clock and is marking off one number on the clock for each day that passes. She a little short on days since the clock only has 12 numbers, but I still thought it was a great idea. Also, notice in the picture of her in front of the door how she's taped a crown up high on the door so Max can't reach it and only she can mark off the days. Her mind is always working. It makes me a bit nervous.

Snow Day

2009-12-09T19:02:00.000-08:00

It was bitter cold here today. It snowed some last night, but really was just cold and icy. Just bad enough that they didn't cancel Ellie's school, but made it a late start (10am instead of 8:30). Who thought this was a good idea. Try to get a 4 year old to want to go to school after playing in the snow. Max only lasted about 5 minutes. It was just too cold. But Ellie persevered. We had to coerce her in with hot chocolate.

Just a couple of cute pics

2009-12-09T19:01:00.000-08:00

Santa Baby

2009-12-09T18:48:00.001-08:00

This weekend we went to the Santa brunch at our country club. It is an over the top celebration for the kids that we all look forward to. I must say, I think they have the best Santa and Mrs. Clause I've ever seen.

Seriously, look at this Santa. Ellie had a bit of trepidation, but warmed up after she got her blinking reindeer nose.

Max had no problems. He jumped right up on Mrs. Clause's lap and waved over at Santa.

This is Ellie with her reindeer nose making reindeer face and getting ready to make a grab for some candy.

Ellie with her BFF.

Our BFFs. Aren't they a cute family!

This is my favorite. If I get around to it you may see it as a Christmas card as well. But, since I still haven't sent Max's announcement don't count on it.

Max LOVED his woo woo train outfit. He keeps sneaking into his room trying to put in on.

These two love each other!

Fall Pictures

2009-12-09T18:43:00.001-08:00

My cute nephew
My adorable niece

Ellie of course

Maxybaby loves the leaves

How often do I get a picture with all of their faces visible?

Yes, I'm behind. These are some cute photos of some cute cousins playing in the leaves this fall. Once I figure out some basic photo editing I'll edit that marker right off of Ellie's face and they'll be even cuter.

GRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES

2009-12-01T18:16:00.000-08:00

First of all, I know I'm a bad blogger. I was on call for a good part of the week before and after Thanksgiving and I got overwhelmed. After a nice 4 day weekend I am somewhat caught up with bills and cleaning and I got in some great time with my kiddos and my hubby. I also got some great pictures of the kids that I promise I'll post soon. Now, on to the real post.

I was so proud of myself. We got Max's cleft repair surgery pre-approved by our insurance. The bills were coming in and I was staying on top of things. I caught the $800 overcharge for ear drops and got that fixed. I thought I had it all under control. I should have known better. I deal with insurance companies as a patient and a physician and it's never pretty. I am quite positive that the majority of them are trying to trick and cheat people into paying more than they should. So, I wasn't entirely surprised when I got Max's surgery bill and our insurance had declined paying for $3500 of the procedure saying that it was dental. His surgery bill was broken up into three parts. The first two parts they covered fine. The third part was something called a vestibuloplasty. My non-surgeon understanding of this is that they make some incisions near the gum line (recall my freak out of this being a fistula) and pull the tissue mid line to close the cleft. Feel free to correct me if someone has a better understanding of this. So, my insurance declined to pay this part of the procedure stating that it was dental. Even though in my mind (and my surgeon's) they couldn't close the cleft without doing this. So, I thought when I called and explained this surely the insurance company would understand their faulty thinking and pay for the procedure. Wrong. They are still saying it's dental and refusing to pay. They also said that although the surgeon pre-authorized the procedure, he didn't pre-authorize the vestibuloplasty code (who would have known that it wasn't bundled into the cleft repair). I don't think I'm an idiot, but I really don't know how to convince an insurance company that they're wrong when they are unwilling to hear it.

Here's my plan. I've called the physician's office and the physician's billing office to have them talk directly to the insurance company and try to explain (probably they won't listen to them either). I've called my insurance agent to ask him to talk directly with the insurance company (probably won't listen to him either). If this doesn't work I'll file an appeal with letters of medical necessity from the surgeon (since it's an internal appeal I doubt this will work either). I also plan on sending a letter to the insurance commissioner for the state. If anyone has ever dealt with this before or has any other ideas please let me know.

Progress/No progress

2009-11-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

Some days things really seem to be going well with Max.

He is not waking up at night anymore and is consistently sleeping until 6:30-7am. It was 5:30 for a while which is just too early.
He may still wake up crying for mama, but he lets the nanny comfort him and it doesn't last for an hour. A plate of pancakes and sausage helps as well.
He lets the nanny put him on the toilet. He may scream or say no, but at least he can be coerced with candy corn instead of screaming in misery because he has to potty, but doesn't want her to help him go.
When we're the ones home we're seeing fewer tantrums.

We have had some new issues develop though. Well really just one. When he gets upset he's started getting shoes and clothes out of his closet and drawers and uses these items to comfort him. I would have expected this for an institutionalized child, but Max seemed to have plenty of clothes/shoes at his foster home so I'm not sure where this came from. I do remember that when we first got him he had to have shoes on him/in his hands at all times. I thought then that he wanted to go to try and find his foster mom. His attachment to his shoes persisted, but this seems different. He's also taken to burying his face in his bed or up against a wall and not looking at us when he's upset. It makes me so sad. I feel like we're not doing something wrong and now he's looking to other means of comfort besides us. At least he'll let us redirect him from these activities to us and then lets us comfort him, but it's a bit disheartening. I still think all of this stems from me going back to work so soon after cleft surgery. Unfortunately that wasn't optional.

Ellie has had some rough spots this week as well. I think she's just really tired, but she's not wanted to go to school the last couple of days which is very unusual for her. I've emailed her teacher to make sure that there's not an issue there, but I suspect it's fatigues since she's been fairly grumpy at home too.

The good news there is even when she's grumpy, and even when she tantrums, it's not the frequency or the extent that it was 3-4 months ago. And, if we can recognize and intervene earlier in the pattern (which we're getting better at) she's even been able to calm herself down several times. This is big progress and I'm trying to focus on that instead of the problems.

We're also doing better with the bathroom with her. We are trying to keep her on an every 2 hour bathroom schedule. When we can do this she's not having accidents. If we exceed that time we've had a couple of small issues, but no big accidents. She's also been dry at night about 1/2 of the nights this week which was previously unheard of. Most importantly no infections this month!

Okay, that's the gory details of this week. I still need to post pictures. Not of tantrums or potties though.

Palate Update

2009-11-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

We had our second follow up with the plastic surgeon today. We just love him.

Max is doing very well. He seems completely recovered. No pain for sure. We are still having occasional nighttime awakenings, but I'm not sure if these are surgery related or more due to the fact that I'm back at work. He's been on a soft diet for the past two weeks, but he hasn't seemed to mind this at all.

The area of his palate that I was initially concerned about (by the gum line on the side where the created the flap to pull mid line) has healed up very nicely. There was an area in the mid line towards the back of the palate that was concerning me as well. The doctor saw it and said that he still can't tell if it's a full fistula or a superficial opening only. He says that he thinks that it will close in the next couple of weeks, but if it hasn't we need to see him to talk about repairing it. If it has, then we're good until our next cleft team appointment in August! Our next surgery would then be between age 4 and 6 for a lip/nose revision and possibly palate lengthening if needed. That would be ideal, but as worried as I was about a fistula early on, I have a peace about it now. It wouldn't be the most fun to have to do another surgery this year, but I realized after this one that it's not a huge deal either. Max really did well with this surgery. Even if he needs a fistula repair this is pretty small and I expect that he'll do fine with that as well. The surgeon also cleared Max for a full diet, so we came home and had some cheddar bunnies to celebrate.

Other good news. My camera lens came yesterday and works perfectly. Hopefully I'll get some cute pictures this weekend to post.

Finally Halloween Pictures

2009-11-06T18:20:00.000-08:00

This is his pouty face. He did not like the hood over his head.

Taken the night before. Before the camera lens broke. Uploaded on my crummy computer since the laptop is broken - thus the wait for the photos.

Feeling Grumpy

2009-11-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

1. I was on call this weekend. Never fun. I'm tired.

2. Max has been waking up at night again. All he wants is me. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that when he calls out for "momma" he wants me, but I'm tired.

3. Halloween is a busy weekend. Squeezing all of the Halloween fun in while taking care of 40 inpatients is hard. I'm tired.

4. Jason had the kids all weekend. He's tired and grumpy. He's not a very good housekeeper. I got to clean up when I got home, give the kids baths, and do a big chunk of the bedtime routine. I'm tired.

5. Our camera lens broke this weekend and I get to deal with the waranty and getting it fixed. I was able to get a couple of pics of the kids in their costumes prior to it's breaking, but missed lots of cute photo ops.

6. Our laptop broke this weekend and I get to deal with the waranty and getting it fixed.

7. I think Ellie might have another UTI. I still haven't heard back from the urologist about her appointment.

8. I think Max might have a different hole in the back of his palate. Yes, you can tell me not to worry all you want, but you all know I'm worrying. Our follow-up is not until Friday the 13th. Let's hope that's not a sign.

9. Our pediatrician is only offering H1N1 shots from 8:30-11:30 on Tuesday am. This is a hard time for me to make and I would have to take Ellie out of school for this. This seems silly to schedule this during school hours. I'll make time to take Max because I'm not really sure he had it. I'm sure enough about Ellie that I'm not going to pull her out of school. Max also gets to restart his vaccination series at this visit. This should be fun.

10. I still need to make time to take Ellie in for a blood draw.

11. I need to get a stool sample from Max to take in. Good times.

12. My car is a disaster and I don't know when I'll clean it.

13. I haven't paid bills or balanced my checkbook in 3 weeks. Hoepfully nothing is late.

14. Have I said I'm tired.

Great news from the surgeon

2009-10-28T07:09:00.000-07:00

Max had his first follow up appointment with the surgeon today and we got excellent news. The area that I was concerned about is probably not a fistula. There has been some separation of the superficial layer of closure, but he thinks the deeper layer is intact and he thinks that the superficial layer will close on it's own. We'll know more at our three week follow up, but he doesn't seem worried.
Also, we now get to advance to a soft diet!!!! This is big news for our hungry kiddo. Also, it's very exciting for mommy, daddy, and sister who won't have to eat standing at the kitchen counter and who can now go out to eat with Maxybaby.
WOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like we survived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have a problem

2009-10-23T19:20:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty darn sure there's a big hole in Max's palate. The interesting thing is it's over at the gum line on the side. I think they create a flap from that area to close the midline defect (which looks great by the way). I'm so depressed. Of course my mind has raced ahead. I'm already quite sure that Max's speech will never progress and that we'll be re-operating every year without ever successfully closing this fistula. (Is this even called a fistula since it's not at the closure site?) Clearly, he'll need a free flap if this is ever to be closed. I know way too much about the worst case scenario.

Recovery

2009-10-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

Warning: read at your own risk. This post has details that not everyone wants to read. But, I'm putting it all out there so that those people getting ready for this process with their kids will have a better idea about what to expect.

We got home from the hospital on Wednesday afternoon and Max has been making slow improvements since then. That first evening he was pretty fussy, but he went to bed at 7:30pm and slept until about 7:30am the next morning with only two short awakenings for pain medicine. We all felt much better yesterday after our good night's sleep. He was pretty clingy yesterday and spent a good amount of time on mommy's lap snuggling and napping, but he didn't seem to be in as much pain. We were already able to decrease the amount of narcotic that we were giving him and switched to mainly plain Tylenol. I actually enjoyed yesterday. Remember that this is the boy who has always preferred daddy over mommy. Now he reaches for mommy and wants to snuggle up closely to me. This surgery has definitely helped move our attachment forward. Not that I'm recommending surgery solely for this purpose, but for those of you wondering if you should do a surgery fairly quickly after bringing your child home, I wouldn't hesitate. Max did not want to drink as much yesterday as he had on Wednesday. I don't think this was as related to discomfort as it was to the fact that he wanted real food. We are trying not to eat in front of him, but he saw sister eating a banana and cereal and he wasn't at all happy that he couldn't have any. It's no problem for us to wait to eat or to eat somewhere else in the house, but Ellie has to eat on time and with our small house there just isn't a great place completely away from him. Having Ellie home from school sick this week has added a whole new dimension to this process. Both kids have needed lots of attention so the balance has been difficult. And, don't forget that our nanny was out sick for half of the week too. Thankfully, my mom stepped up once again and was a huge help in balancing the needs of two sick kids. Our other big battle yesterday was constipation. This is our child who poops three times a day average. Yesterday was his third day without a bowel movement and he was definitely feeling it. He would hold his tummy and bend over crying, but could not poop. We ended up giving him two suppositories before we got some action. Not surprisingly, he wasn't a fan of these either. Other issues, Max has run a low grade fever since surgery - 99's. We aren't supposed to worry about it unless it gets up to 100.4 and we're hoping it won't. I'm wondering if this is a post-surgery phenomenon because it started right after surgery. But, another part of me thinks maybe this is mild H1N1. I don't suppose it matters much at this point since he's had Tamiflu and is on an antibiotic. We haven't gotten a great look at his palate. There's not a hole there anymore and it looks brown and crusty, but that's all I can tell. Okay, that's all I can think to report.

Max is out of surgery

2009-10-20T15:17:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it. Everyone stayed healthy long enough for Max to have his surgery. Hopefully we'll all stay healthy through recovery as well. We met with the surgeon about 15 minutes ago and he said that everything went well. Max was a little "oozy" and lost a bit more than the usual amount of blood, but everything else went fine. The cleft closed, but it was "a little tight" so they used allograft (donor tissue) to complete the closure. We haven't gotten to go back and see him yet, but hopefully we will soon. I'm gearing up for a long night at the hospital (and a long next couple of weeks), but we're glad that we've made it this far.

FYI, Ellie is better today as well. She has been fever free for 36 hours. She was still a bit stuffy last night, but slept 13 hours and woke up a new girl.

Surgery Tomorrow - We Hope

2009-10-19T18:58:00.001-07:00

Max's cleft palate repair is scheduled for tomorrow. We have been focused on this date for several weeks now and have rearranged our lives accordingly. We may be rearranging. Sunday morning Ellie woke up with a fever, congestion, and a sore throat. I'm guessing it's H1N1 since it's been working it's way through her school. We knew that if Max got any signs of illness he wouldn't be able to have his surgery. So, we started Ellie on Tamiflu immediately and Max got started on prophylaxis. Jason and I also took the prophylaxis. I can't imagine being down with this and trying to take care of Max post-operatively. Or one of us being sick and the other one having to take care of him by themself. So far so good. Ellie has been fever free since about 6am this morning, and Max, Jason, and I aren't showing any signs of the illness. We've gotten the green light for surger as long as Max is symptom free for the next 18 hours, so keep us in your prayers.

This is suck a yucky virus. Ellie hasn't been this sick in a long time. Thankfully she's tolerating it really well. Going to sleep has been difficult due to the congestion, but she went to sleep much easier tonight. Also, she's woken up at about 5:30 the last two mornings with a low grade fever and "feeling funny". I'm hoping she can get a better night's rest tonight because she does seem really fatigued.

The other kicker is that our nanny called me about 3 hours after getting to our house this morning. She had a fever, splitting headache, and was vomiting. I had to drive home to relieve her until my mom could get here to watch the kids while I tried to get a whole week's worth of work done in one day. Thank you mom. Yes, she's now on prophylaxis as well. I know these are not the CDC guidelines for treatment, but I've already seen too many young people die from this illness this season and I'll be darned if I'm going to let any of my family members be one of those patients. Plus, I think Max's surgery puts us in a special risk category.

I think Grandma had an interesting day with the kids. Ellie is such a creative soul that a day with her is never boring. When Grandma got here Ellie was modeling the dress she had made with tape, markers, and paper. I wish I would have gotten a picture of it, but she got frustrated with the tape and ripped it off before I could. Ellie also made a bowling set with paper, tape, and an apple. I have pictures of the bowling pins, but the apple was toast by the time I made it home. Finally, when I got home, Ellie decorated the birthday cake she had made for Jason. His birthday was yesterday and we got it baked, but with all of the illness it didn't get decorated and eaten until today. The design on the cake should you not be able to recognize it is a forklift just like at daddy's shop. She came up with that idea and implemented it herself.

So, now that both kids are in bed I'm starting to pack for the hospital tomorrow. I won't be able to finish until tomorrow since alot of what I need is in Max's room. I've got our DVD player and videos, the computer (once I finish using it) and charger, my phone and charger, some toys and books, a sippy cup and a regular cup. I need to add some clothes and personal items and my very important kindle and I'll be about ready. The surgery itself is going to be about 1:30pm. We need to be at the hospital at 12:30. I think it's going to be a long morning. Thankfully they're letting Max have clear liquids up until 10:30, but he can't have any solids after 1:30am and I'm not getting him up to feed him at that point. We just gave him a big dinner and cake. I think the surgery will take about 3 hours and then he'll be in recovery for a little bit. Grandma is going to watch Ellie until we get into a room and then Jason will come home to stay with her and I'll hang with Max at the hospital. As long as Max is taking liquids and oral pain medicine on Wednesday we should be able to come home late that afternoon. I'm already looking forward to that.

The Pumpkin Patch

2009-10-17T16:35:00.000-07:00

I'm just getting the photos out there. I'll post details later.

This one's for Amy

2009-10-17T16:26:00.001-07:00

This is the aftermath of Ellie's picture day dress. Thankfully the dry cleaner got it all out.

My day in Pre-K

2009-10-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

Today I was the classroom volunteer for Ellie's pre-k class. Usually this is just for an hour and a half, but Ellie wanted me to go to all school chapel with her as well, so I decided that I would just spend the whole morning with her in pre-k. It was a blast. She was so excited for me to go to school with her. The first thing that we did when we got there was to put our bags and coats in big trash bags to protect them from lice. We then got in line to walk over to all school chapel. This was quite a production because on all school chapel days the kids are supposed to be at school 5 minutes earlier so that they have time to walk over to the big church building. Of course this is easier said than done so as we made the walk to the church building we kept picking up stragglers. Once we got to chapel we met up with the kid's 5th grade buddies. Ellie's buddy is Megan. Megan's brother Matthew also happens to be in Ellie's class. Megan was so cute. She talked with Ellie and asked her all kinds of questions, and on the way back to the classroom played red light/green light with her. Ellie loves her. During chapel we talked about the book of Ezekial which the kids had all been studying in their smaller chapel groups throughout the week. We then sang "Dem Bones" with actions. The rest of the songs were sang by one of the students who couldn't have been older than 6th grade but had an awesome voice. The worship leaders also did the signs for all of the songs. It was an amazing service. After this, we walked back over to the classroom and read a story and had a lesson on head lice. Did I mention that I was itching by this point? We then played outside. It is so interesting to see the social interactions between these four and five year olds. Although for the most part boys and girls tend to stick together, there's definitely more interaction than I remember at this age. For example, alot of the boys were playing pirates, but they would occaisionally choose some girls to be their pirate wives. I'm not sure what I think about that. There was still alot of the running around in circles chasing each other that I do remember. We then went back inside and had center time. This is where the kids go to the different areas of the classroom (science, practical life, language, math, art) and do "work". This ranges from puzzles to computer work to blocks to art projects to writing. I'm amazed at how much these kids know in pre-k. Most of them are close to reading if not already. They can count, write numbers and do basic math. One group of kids was working on learning about the planets in our solar system. Another was learning the montessori shapes (by the way, mom doesn't even know all of these). It's pretty impressive. We then went back to circle time, read two Halloween books and then left for the day to have Mexican food with Grandma D and Max. I now understand why Ellie is so tired in the afternoons.

Ellie's turn at the hospital

2009-10-16T19:16:00.001-07:00

Max is having his cleft repaired next week, but we didn't think one visit to the local children's hospital was quite enough. Ellie has been having difficulties with recurrent urinary tract infections. She has a condition called vesico-ureteral reflux. This means that her ureters reflux urine back into her kidneys when she urinates. This means that if she gets a urinary tract infection she is at risk for getting a kidney infection. Chronic kidney infections can lead to kidney failure in the long term. She had been doing well for some time, but has had difficulty this summer/fall with getting frequent infections. Because of this her pediatrician recommended repeating some testing including a renal ultrasound, a VCUG, and a blood draw for kidney function. These were scheduled for Thursday. We've done everything but the blood draw before and Ellie did really well so I wasn't anticipating a problem. Ellie did great with the renal ultrasound, but for some reason when we walked into the fluoro suite to do her VCUG it all hit the fan. She was terrified. They have wonderful child life specialists to walk her through the procedure and we were able to get her through the first two steps, but when it came time to put the catheter in her bladder I could not keep her calm. She was fighting tooth and nail to get off of that table. Unfortunately, you can only do the test with a calm and relatively cooperative kid so we weren't able to finish the test. She was also too worked up to do the blood draw. I'll take her back later for the blood work, but I don't think I'm ever going to get her to do the VCUG. I've got a call into her pediatrician to see what she wants us to do. I'm thinking that we'll visit with the urologist again and see what other options we have. I hate what happend on two fronts. First, it is so awful to see your child so upset and scared and instead of just comforting her, to be the one trying to get her to do what she's so scared of. Second, I'm of course worried about what we do now. I hate the thought of trying to repeat that test. I dread that more than I dread Max's cleft surgery.

Jiao Zi

2009-10-12T19:13:00.000-07:00

Max had a little taste of home this week. The family of one of the nurses that I work with made jiao zi this week and she was kind enough to share some with our family. Both of my kids LOVE Chinese dumplings. Mommy and Daddy do too. You can tell by the pictures how much they enjoyed them. Next up, mommy wants to learn to make them.

Update

2009-10-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

It came, the COC finally came yesterday! YEAH!

Exciting news on the speech front

2009-10-09T11:37:00.000-07:00

We had our first visit with the speech therapist last night and she was very encouraging. She said that Max had a great vocabulary, great imitation skills, and the BEST tongue tip elevation she'd seen! How about that. Who would have ever thought I'd be so excited about that compliment. She also said that Max did not have alot of the compensatory vocal methods that most unrepaired cleft kids have (this is good). She said that a lot of speech therapy for cleft affected kids is overcoming those bad habits. She is very hopeful for Max's speech progression once his palate is closed. YEAH! I think he will love being able to communicate more effectively.

Where the heck is Max's COC?

2009-10-08T11:52:00.000-07:00

And, what is a COC you ask. A COC is Max's certificate of citizenship. Max became a citizen after passing through customs and immigration in Newark, but we still have no documentation of that. We should have received that form within 45 days of our arrival in the US. For those not counting it's been 47 days. I need this to get Max's Kansas adoption certificate, his social security number, and I can't get his passport until I have those things. Not that we have any imminent international travel plans, but what if we're suddenly offered a trip to Spain? Really what frustrates me is I now have to try and contact the USCIS which is always a nightmare. I can't imagine when I'll squeeze that into my schedule.

To those of you who want pictures

2009-10-08T11:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry, the lens cap on my camera got lost and I've been scared to take it out and ruin the lens. I now have a new one so hopefully I can get some good pictures to post in the next couple of days.

Wide Open Arms

2009-10-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

I walked in the door yesterday and Max looked up at me, gave me the biggest grin and yelled "MAMA." He then ran to me with arms wide open, gave me a tight squeeze, and patted me on the back. It was awesome!

The two of us have definitely turned the corner. He lets me snuggle him at night, he comes to me when he's hurt, he gives me hugs and I love yous during the day. He definitely knows I'm his mama. I'm so glad that this happened before his surgery. I was really worried that he'd be hurting after surgery and wouldn't let me comfort him. I'm still not looking forward to surgery, but I know it will be okay.

Are you glad to be back?

2009-10-05T13:11:00.000-07:00

Well, as of today I'm officially a working mom again. Yes, I have been working some, but now I'm officially back to my full time hours and on call time. Everyone keeps asking me "are you glad to be back?" I'm not sure how to answer that.

I love my job. I'm good at my job and it feels really good to be good at something. I also know that I was meant to do this job, and I've done it so long that it's become a big part of who I am.

But, none of that means I'm completely glad to be back. I know that my kid's lives are both easier and harder because of what I do. They experience a lot of privileges that aren't available to most kids. But, I'm also not there a lot. I know that bothers Ellie, and I'm sure that will bother Max, and it definitely bothers me. I want to be there, I really do. I want to bake with my kids, play in the park, walk for coffee for me and ice cream for them. I want to supervise their play dates and volunteer at their school. I want to be the one to pick them up from school and hear the good and the bad about their day. I want to work on projects and crafts. I want to take care of them when they're sick. When I'm working I can't always do those things. I try to do as much as I can, but the reality is that I can't do it a lot of the time. That stinks.

I love my kids, but I love my job. As my friend Joan said to another physician friend having her first child "welcome to the world of always feeling like you're letting somebody down."

Just when you think you've explained adoption to a four year old

2009-10-05T06:22:00.001-07:00

Elise - "Mommy, do people from China fly on airplanes to Kansas City?"

Mommy - "Yes."

Elise - "Do they come here to get their babies?"

Random Ellie Comment

2009-09-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

"Mommy, why is Barack Obama always talking about doctors?

Is he right?"

Seriously, this girl is going to be trouble in a few years. I already don't know how to answer her questions.

Being a Single Mom is HARD!

2009-09-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

Jason was in Vegas this weekend leaving me for my first extended period with both kids. Wow! It was alot of fun, but I was exhausted.
I didn't do it small either. It's hard for me to stay home with both kids all day long. I like to get out and about. So, on Friday we went to Ellie's school fun festival. We played in bouncies, rode rides, played games, and ate hot dogs. Saturday morning we met my friend Amy (also a single mom due to the boy's weekend in Vegas) and her kids at Deanna Rose Farmstead for the apple festival. I love that place! Max loved it too, especially the animals. He is also really coming into his own at the playground. The problem is that he has no fear and really needs to be watched constantly. But, I keep looking up and losing Ellie. When I go to look for Ellie, he starts doing some daredevil stunt and I turn back to him (maybe in time to prevent injury, maybe not). How do I do two kids at a busy park? I haven't figure this out yet. After this we did lunch and then nap. That evening we took a walk to our local park in the wagon. We also stopped at our just opened Russell Stovers for ice cream. This could be dangerous. I don't even really like ice cream, but they have the yummiest iced sugar cookes which could be a big problem. Sunday, we met my sister in law, niece, and nephew for their churches fun festival with more bouncies.
You'd think the kids would be nice and exhausted from all of this activity and would fall right into bed, but somehow they knew that I hadn't really put two kids to bed by myself before. As soon as I'd get one settled in the other would get up and by the time I got that one settled I was hearing from the other. It took me a good hour/hour and a half to get them both to sleep both nights. I hope I get better with practice.

Our First Cleft Team Appointment

2009-09-18T10:31:00.001-07:00

Today was our first visit to the cleft team for Max to be evaluated. This might be a wierd way to describe it, but overall I would say it was fun. We got there about 7:45, right on time. As soon as we had checked in two other families with children from China (both boys) came in. One of these families I had actually met online prior to bringing home Max. Their son is just a little bit older than Max, but has already been home for over a year. The other family just got back from China LAST NIGHT! Crazy. I definitely would not have been up for this appointment the day after getting home. There was also another family that came in a bit later with a daughter they had adopted from China. She's Ellie's age almost exactly and had been home just over two years. I always love meeting other adoptive families, especially those who have adopted from China, especially those whose kids are cleft affected, and especially boys Max's age who live in the vicinity and might be up for play dates in the future. There wasn't much time for visiting though. They kept us very busy. We were there for about three and a half hours and during that time saw an audiologist, dentist, nutritionist, speech therapist, social worker, plastic surgeon, and ENT. The ENT is my former fellowship director's wife so that was another fun visit. Aside from the fun and visiting it was also an informative visit. We confirmed the date for Max's palate repair (October 20th) and the date for his pre-op history and physical (September 23rd). We also determined that he has mild hearing loss from fluid build up in his ears so we added ear tubes onto his palate surgery. We also found out more about his post-op diet which is one of my big worries about the surgery. Max loves to eat and wants food constantly and we knew his diet would be restricted post-op. I had thought it was for 4-6 weeks, but we found out that it's straight liquids for 1 week and then soft foods for 2 more weeks. That seems much more doable. I'm now ready to get this show on the road and get this surgery done with. It's a big one to get under our belts and I'm hoping that in the year following we'll see some big jumps in his speech.

Affirmation that this is our child

2009-09-18T10:25:00.001-07:00

Those of you who know Jason and I well know that we both have a major chapstick addition. Cherry is our flavor of choice. It goes everywhere with us. I guess in the scheme of addictions, this is an okay one to have.
We were at the doctor today and I noticed Max playing chapstick with the red crayon. He truly is our child. Thank goodness it wasn't red marker.

An American Kid

2009-09-16T13:11:00.001-07:00

I swear I've only taken him to Starbuck's once.

When we walked in for the second time today he walked in first and walked straight to the counter. He grabbed an organic chocolate milk and got in line for mommy to pay. This kid doesn't miss a thing.

Fun With Family

2009-09-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after we dropped Ellie off at school we went out to breakfast with my parents and then we went back to there house to hang out. We've been so busy that this was Max's first trip to their place. We had a relaxing morning with them and got some cute pics of Maxybaby.

Picture Day

2009-09-16T13:09:00.003-07:00

Today was picture day at Ellie's school. She chose her fanciest dress (not that there was any doubt in my mind). She actually sat still and didn't complain when I did her hair and she got to wear lip gloss as a reward. She looked really cute when she left. It's a bit hard to tell since I couldn't get her to stop "posing". We'll see what she looks like by the time they took the pictures.

She stayed for lunch and extended day today as well. I sent a change of clothes so that she could play without getting her pretty dress dirty. It's the one outfit that she has that requires dry cleaning. When I picked her up she had her play clothes on, but I new when I opened her bag and found the following note it wasn't good. "Elise didn't tell me about changing clohtes until after lunch. Mrs. Parkey" Ellie had chocolate dipped fruit in her lunch box. It wasn't pretty. Thankfully we won a dry cleaning gift certificate at the school auction in the spring.

Tea Party for One

2009-09-16T13:09:00.001-07:00

Mr. sneaky waited until his sister was out of the room and then snuck in for some solo tea party fun. When he plays tea party with her he really isn't allowed to touch anything. He's just been waiting for his turn. They both really enjoy this game and can pass a big chunk of time playing with the tea set. The only down side is when I find out that they've put real water in all of the cups. Of course it never stays in the cups so we've had a puddle or two and some wet socks.

Fun Fest

2009-09-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

On Sunday we went to our local neighborhood fun fest. It's a yearly fall tradition and it's lots of fun for the kids. We loaded both kids into the wagon (this wagon has already earned it's purchase price) and walked across the street to the festivities. Our first stop was the cake walk. Yes, Ellie wanted to do the bouncies first, but mommy made her do the cake walk. Every year we bring a cake and then by the time we get to the cake walk they are all gone and Ellie gets upset that she brought one but didn't get to take one home. So, this year we did the cake walk first, like it or not, and we stayed there until we one a cake. Actually, we one chocolate cupcakes with purple and green frosting and candy on top. They were yummy. Both kids (and mommy) devoured one right away. You can see the evidence remained on Max's face. Yes, another picture of a messy Max face. We then went on to do the bouncy jumper, bouncy slide, face painting, balloon man, many small carnival games, and the pony ride. We finished it off with hot dogs and fritos. Lots of friends and neighbors were out visiting and we stayed for the whole three hour event. It doesn't get any better than this.

A Beautiful Ballerina

2009-09-12T06:06:00.000-07:00

Ellie started ballet one week ago. She had insisted all summer long that she wanted to do ballet instead of gymnastics this fall. So, we went last week and bought two sparkly leotards, two pairs of tights, a pair of ballet shoes, and a pair of tap shoes. Last week was her first lesson. She was so excited to put on her outfit and her shoes, but when it came time to actually go into the class (without mom), she did not want to go. She suddenly decided that she didn't want to do ballet anymore. I really thought that she was past the majority of her separation anxiety so this surprised me. I had to do a little convincing, but she finally agreed to go into the class and she stayed happily for the whole hour and was very plesed with herself afterwards. This week, she told me before we walked into the studio that she wanted me to leave while she was in class, not to watch her, and that she would tell me all about her class when I got back. What a change. She had another great lesson (I did sneak a peak through the window) and is ready for next week.

Struggling

2009-09-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

We've had a rough two days around here. I'm not sure what the root cause is. Is it that I worked all weekend and that sparked some anxiety? Is it the small cold that Max seems to have? Are his teeth bothering him (he's been biting on his stuffed animals a lot lately)? Is this delayed grief? Is the honeymoon period over? Is he just having a grumpy couple of days? I don't know, but we've both been miserable.

You might remember that Max bonded last and least to me while we were in China. I thought we had made some really good progress since we got home. He was coming to me to play and for hugs when he was hurt. Now, all of the sudden, it's like he wants nothing to do with me again. I'll hand him a snack and he'll refuse it. If Jason hands him the same snack two seconds later, he's elated. If he bonks his head, he'll cry and cry and he won't let me comfort him. If he doesn't get something that he wants, it's the end of the world. Basically, he's been fussing, whining, or crying most of the past two days with no obvious cause. And, the hard part, instead of mommy being able to comfort him, I seem to be making it worse. He's completely rejecting my attempts to make him feel better and these attempts actually seem to make him more upset.

I'm not sure what to do with this. First of all, I'm the only one home most of the day. Second, I'm not going to not show him love and affection. It just sucks to be rejected again and again. It makes me not want to try anymore (I know this isn't the answer, just how I feel). And, the crying/screaming/whining suck too. When he starts, it bugs Ellie who doesn't like loud noises, and often she'll start screaming back. It's giving me a headache. For right now, I'm just going with the perseverance method, but I'm open to suggestions. I figure that if I just keep playing the mommy role, eventually he'll get it and accept my affection. Until that happens, my wine consumption may go up. Costco, get your supplies ready.

One month family anniversary

2009-09-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

One month ago today we met Max. It's hard to believe that it's already been a month. We definitely are still settling into our new family roles and we're still figuring out who he is and how he fits into our family. Here's what we do know. Max is generally easygoing. Not much throws him for a loop. He has made this transition more easily that we thought was possible for any child. He's also a ham. He loves to grin his cheesy grin and wave at everyone. He loves being the center of attention. He loves to be outside and he loves to be active. Riding his tricycle, riding in his waggon, throwing balls, and just running around are probably his favorite activities. He also loves to push his cars and go "vroom, vroom". He also loves teddy bears. Not his lion or his dog, but teddy bears. He likes to go into Ellie's room and sort through her stuffed animals and pull out two or three teddy bears to carry around. He'll let you hold them for him when hes on the toilet or eating, but wants them right back when he's done. He loves to eat and he does it with gusto. He's actually pretty good with utensils, but somehow the food still gets EVERYWHERE. He also seems to be mechanically inclined. He watches how everything is done, built, put together, and then he attempts to do it himself. He loves to flush the toilet, push buttons on clocks (he's caused a couple of late mornings by turning off the alarm), turn water on and off, etc.

So far, there doesn't seem to be much he doesn't like. He definitely doesn't like to be told no. He doesn't like to be too far from food still (this may be a little pathologic). He also has a weird fear of a decorative stone rabbit in our bedroom. It's been temporarily relocated to the closet.

Lots of people have asked how language is coming. I think he's doing well, especially considering the duo insults of an unrepaired cleft palate and transitioning to a new language. So far these are the words that he consistently says in English. They're not enunciated perfectly, but he's trying really hard. Muh (more), mama, mama (baba), bye-bye, hi, Ehie (Ellie), ah-ee (doggie), i-ee (kitty), muh-ee (monkee), a-oo (thank you), vroom. There might be a couple more, but that's what I can think of right now. He also knows these signs: more, kitty, doggie, milk, water, and please (although it's use is limited). Considering it's only been a month, I'm impressed. It's probably more than the number of Mandarin words I know.

I think the most exciting part of the last month has been seeing him grow more comfortable with us and more comfortable in his environment. I love getting him up in the mornings and seeing him smile at me instead of cry. He knows that first we go to the bathroom, then he goes to his little table and waits for breakfast (or often gets to the refrigerator first to try and convince me t hat chocolate pudding is a healthy breakfast option). He "helps" me get him dressed and he knows where to find his clothes. He knows where all of the toys and books are and isn't afraid to dig right in and play. When we're in the carpool line to drop off Ellie he starts saying "bye bye Ellie" and when we're waiting to pick her up he's saying her name the whole time. He also knows that when we pull the curtains and get his bottle out it's bedtime (which he's less and less happy about). I'm just so happy that he seems to have settled into a new routine after all of the changes that he's had in the past month.

The best big sis in the world

2009-09-08T14:06:00.001-07:00

Ellie is rocking as a big sister. I can't tell you how worried about this transition I was for her. She's had a difficult year and I worried that bringing home a new sibling would escalate all of the issues that she had been having. Thankfully, I was wrong. She LOVES Max. She loves to carry him around and snuggle up to him. She lets him play with her toys and in her room (usually). If he's upset, she's the first one to tell me what he wants (and she's unhappy if I don't choose to give him what he wants). When he's upset, she sings and has actually sung him to sleep. She loves teaching him new things. I think that she is flourishing in the role of the big kid, the expert, the experienced one. She has been waiting for someone to "be in charge of" and now that she is the boss in one aspect of life, she's happy. She definitely wouldn't take to us adopting out of birth order. She is the oldest sibling at heart. Also, I think it's been great for her to not be the center of attention at all times. She does better focusing her energy outside of her. I think too that some of the changes we've made in how we deal with her actions are helping. Being back in school, in the routine, and mentally/physically challenged every day does wonders too (she loves her school and we do too). No matter what the various causes, Ellie has really come into her own this past month. She's becoming an awesome kid. I'm so proud of her.

Laboring on Labor Day

2009-09-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been my first prolonged period of time away from Max. This was my Summer holiday call weekend and with all of the time I've taken off recently I could not dump this on my partners. So, I've been taking call and covering the hospitals from Friday to Monday.

I love my job, but I was not quite ready to be anything but a mom yet. I have been loving my time at home with both of the kids. It's been awesome getting to know Max's cute little personality. I've loved taking Ellie to school and ballet and really getting to be part of her day to day activities. It's been a beautiful week weather wise too, so we've gotten lots of outside time - walks to the park, trips in the wagon, sidewalk chalk, and lots of time on the tricycle (Max's favorite). Do not let him see that tricycle unless you want to spend some time pushing him around on it.

The point is, I wasn't ready to be away from him yet, but I am. Thankfully, it seems to be going well. He's gotten a good combination of Daddy and Grandparent time and he's loving it. He has been really happy to see me in the afternoon/evening which I think is a great sign, and I've gotten some really good evening cuddles. Thankfully I'm nearing the end of my "workweek" and I get to go back to being just mom for a while more.

It's Libby day!

2009-09-07T13:18:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Libby and her forever family today! I'm thinking of you all.

A huge gift

2009-08-31T19:13:00.001-07:00

While we were waiting to bring Max home, we sent him several care packages. In these care packages we included a couple of disposable cameras as well as a disposable video camera. When his foster family brought him to us, they gave these back to us, full of pictures and video. We finally got the developed photos and the dvd yesterday and had a chance to look through them last night. There are some cute photos of Max, but the best part is that we really got a chance to see what his life and foster family were like in China. Most importantly, on these photos and video you could see how much he was loved. His foster mother has given us such a gift by loving him and caring for him for two years. I can understand why his transition has gone so well after watching the video. He was given such a foundation in love and family that is irreplacable. I hope that she has some idea of what she's done for him and that she can find peace in her heart.

A good day (we needed one)

2009-08-31T18:56:00.000-07:00

It was a rough weekend and we needed a good day. We got one. It was all around great. It started with a good night's sleep. This was followed by Ellie getting up in a fabulous mood. She usually drags in the morning. It's been hard to get her out the door in time for school. Today, there were no complaints. No reminders were needed to get her to eat her breakfast or brush her teeth. There were no arguments over her outfit (which is shocking since I picked pants to put under her dress which is a big no no in her world - probably in the fashion world too, but when its 60 degrees in the morning she's not wearing a summer dress alone.) She hopped out of school in a good mood. Max was also in a good mood. We came home and played in the tub, then he "helped me" with laundry and sweeping the floors. We then went for a walk around the plaza, did some children's book shopping, and had a mocha (yummy!) We got done just in time to pick Ellie up from school. Yes, she was still in a good mood. I made a crazy decision to try and squeeze in a Costco visit before lunch, knowing that she's crazy hungry after school. Once we got there, she sprung on me that they hadn't had a snack today either. Miraculously, she didn't complain once, we got through our shopping in less than 10 minutes, and I had just enough cash left to get the kids each a slice of pizza. I wasn't sure how Max would like it since he's not a big cheese fan (who doesn't like cheese?), but they both chowed. We got home and Max slept while Ellie and I had some quiet time reading. When Max got up, we went outside and played with our new t-ball set. After this, we had a pudding snack (check out the pictures). Then, Jason got home at a decent time and we actually cooked dinner. We grilled up some salmon burgers, had corn on the cob (you should see Max eat corn on the cob - he loves it), and had tomatoes and mozarella. Even though the weather feels like fall, it was a good summer meal. We cleaned up, took a walk around the neighborhood, gave Ellie a bath, and put the kids to bed with minimal complaint from them. Now I'm enjoying a glass of wine with my husband and my computer. I'm happy. Of course I'm happy that Max had such a great day, but honestly, I'm just as happy about Ellie's day. She's had a rough time since turning four, now we've added a sibling and jet lag, and we've also focused on being more strict since being home from China. It's been tough, but we're really starting to see it pay off. The best part is that she's so proud of her improvements. Keep your fingers crossed that this all continues.

I miss China

2009-08-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be home, but things are much busier here. In China, all we had to do was spend time together as a family, do a little paperwork, and a little sightseeing. In China, I had my mom and my husband helping me. Here, it's been me with two kids for a whole week. We've started school for Ellie which means adjusting to that routine. I had to unpack and sort through everything that we brought home with us (not quite done with that part yet). I have to keep the house clean (kind of clean at least), get caught up on laundry, pay bill, grocery shop, perpare meals, run errands, and catch up with all of our friends and family (my favorite part). And, don't forget the really important part - continuing to bond with Max and foster his attachment with us (and ours to him), and spend time with big sister to make sure that she's not feeling left out. Also, don't forget daddy, we don't want him to feel left out either. Sometimes I think I've got it all under control. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. This is harder than I thought it would be. But, it will get better, I know it will. These are just growing pains.

Max's Impromptu 2nd Birthday Party

2009-08-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, we were home two days and hosting a birthday party. No, this wasn't planned (at least not by me.) But, it was alot of fun. Max turned two while we were in China. We had originally planned to celebrate there, but the day of his birthday was a bit rough. I was sick, he was grumpy, and we were packing up in one city and flying to another. Ellie thought that not celebrating his birthday was unacceptable so we decided that we would celebrate it "when we got home." I was really thinking further down the road. She was so excited about it though, and her excitement rubbed of on me, Aunt Leigh, and Grandme Ne who graciously agreed to expand our Tuesday family dinner into a birthday party for Max. She picked Ellie up after lunch on Tuesday and they went party shopping, decorated, and baked the cake. They also picked out presents and wrapped them. All that you see is of Ellie's design (with guidance from Grandma Ne). Ellie's original party theme was pink, but she was redirected. I got off easy. I took a nap while Max napped, got him up and dressed, swung by the hardware store on the way over, and picked up the wagon I'd been wanting to get him as a gift. Max really enjoyed meeting the rest of the family. He had a great time with his cousins, although he still hasn't joined in the chaos 100%. He also loved being entertained by his grandpas (as do all of the grandkids). He wasn't sure what to think about having Happy Birthday sung to him, but he loved when everyone clapped for him. He loved his birthday dinner (especially corn on the cob - he ate three pieces), but was then too full for cake and ice cream. He didn't really understand the opening of gifts, but his cousins and sister were happy to help him out. He did really enjoy the toys that came out of the packages though. It's going to be interesting to have a boy. It's all movement and noise already. We have used the wagon several times already and we're loving it (mom too). It's great to cart the kids to the park or local stores and we'll definitely be taking it to the pumpkin patch this fall.

Ellie's first day of Pre-K

2009-08-27T14:03:00.000-07:00

Ellie was so excited to be going back to school this week. She had a great summer with her friends at Pam's, but she definitely missed the routine and her friends at St. Paul's. She is also so proud that this year she is in Pre-K, not preschool. She knows next year is Kindergarden and for some reason being 5 years old and going to Kindergarden is the best thing in life that she can imagine.

Her first day was really just a meet and greet. It was so nice to be off so that I could go with her. Her teacher this year is Ms. Higdon. Mrs. Williams will be hard to top, but I hear Ms. Higdon is great and Ellie seems to like her so far. Ellie starts her day in the Zebra room and she has already learned to find her classroom herslef. On Tuesday, her first day without me, she jumped right out of the car and looked like such a big girl walking into school and finding her room all on her own. I certainly don't hear all of the details of her school day, she's pretty stingy with the info, but I have gotten a few tidbits. A couple of the girls who left her out some last year she now says are her best friends and like to play with her on the playground, yeah! Her favorite part of the day is storytime (I'm so glad she's going to be a reader). And, she is super excited to stay for lunch bunch and A-team tomorrow. (Regular school ends at 11:30, lunch bunch and A-team go until 3:30 and she only does this on Friday right now although I think I probably should add another day. She seems ready for more school and more structure.)

I also signed her up for ballet/tap this week. She'll start next Thursday. She had been doing gymnastics this spring and seemed to like it, but firmly requested dance for this fall. We'll see what spring brings. I'd love her to try tennis or music as well.

We're BAAAACK!

2009-08-23T22:40:00.000-07:00

Yeah! We made it home. It was a long trip. About 30 hours from start to finish, but it went way better than it could have (as did most of the trip.) We started at our hotel with a wake up call at 0500 China time. Our porter came at 0615 to get our luggage and our van came at 0630. We had an interesting boxed breakfast in the van on the way to the airport. Thankfully our guide helped us check in. They had Ellie's name spelled wrong on her itinerary and we hadn't been able to confirm Max's seat on the flight, but it all worked out fine. Our travel scale had broken mid suitcase weighing, but they were all under limit. We then traveled through security with 8 carry-ons and two kids, took the train to our terminal and got there just a few minutes before boarding. Mom was the lucky one and got to sit by herself on the three hour flight to Beijing. Well, it was supposed to be three hours, but we sat on the runway for an hour prior to departing so it ended up as 4 hours. They sat Jason, Ellie, Max and I in the bulkhead row. They thought this was a gift with more leg room space, but I HATE the bulkhead row with kids. There is no under seat storage for your carry-ons so every time a kids wants something (every 5 minutes) you have to get up and get into the overhead bins. It went okay though. Both kids slept some and played happily the rest of the time. What more can you ask for. Beijing was difficult. We got off of our flight and had to recollect our bags (this means 13 total with carry-ons) and take these on a bus to a new terminal. You wouldn't believe how much luggage and people could fit on this bus. It was a definite clown car. We all piled off at Terminal C and found a lovely porter to cart our luggage and get us checked in. We tried to rearrange seats since not only were the ones we had crappy, but they had at least one of the kids sitting by himself. We got the kids with parents, but the seats were still crappy. We were all stuffed in the middle somewhere and Jason and I were separated by about 15 rows each with a kids (mom didn't get a kid, but she got the deepest sleeping person sitting in her aisle that made bathroom breaks a chore. It probably reminded her of waking me up as a teenager.) Because Jason and I were apart with the kids we had to rearrange 4 of our backpacks so that we each had what we needed. Also, both kids wanted to be with daddy which was a bit of an issue. Once we got settled in it was a good flight though. Max slept a good part of it (probably 8 hours). Ellie didn't fall asleep until 1 hour before we landed (she had been up for 24 hours at this point). Sleep was good, trying to get her through customs was not. She screamed at the top of her lungs, hit and bit. Thankfully, we were expedited through customs and immigration. I was a bit worried as my parenting skills were minimal that they might not let us bring Max home with us since we were clearly deficient in parenting Ellie, but they whisked us through and Max is now an American Citizen. This moment should have been met with cheers, but I think there were tears - at least on my part at how awful that hour had been. Thankfully, it was only 1 hour out of 30 and how much can you expect from a 4 year old. Ellie was SO GREAT for 95 % of this trip. I need to cut her more slack for a melt down after 24 hours of traveling on no sleep after meeting her new brother in a new country and desperately wanting to be home. She is an amazing, imaginative, strong-willed, loving, and tolerant kid. After customs and immigration we thought we only had a short while to get to our flight, but it ended up being about 3 hours delayed. We were all very ready to get home at this point (especially mom - I think she and dad were missing each other big time), but it was so nice to be in America. We had popcorn and cold drinks which lifted our spirits considerably. Max played in the airport and Ellie finally got her nap, then Max slept on the flight home and Ellie played. Both were so happy to see grandparents and Aunt Leigh at the airport (even though it was midnight.) We didn't have much time to visit, so we loaded up luggage and headed home. My awesome husband got us all Taco Bell (my favorite crave) which I enjoyed immensely and we played and showed Max his new house and new cat. He oohed and ahed over his new room, played with some of his new toys, tortured the cat a little (the love there is definitely one-sided thus far). I was worried they wouldn't sleep since they had slept so much on the plane, but with the help of melatonin they both went down about 3am. I took an Ambien and the four of slept until 2pm today. Yes, that's right 2pm. And, all in our own beds. I never would have thought it. We actually had to wake the kids up. Our awesome house sitter left us a breakfast casserole that we devoured, we unpacked a bit, then Grandma Ne, Grandpa Joe, and Aunt Leigh came over for a visit. We then took a two hour trip to the park (Max loves the slide and the sand) and came home filthy for our first double bath. We ate a simple dinner of sandwiches, fruit, and edamame that hit the spot and both kids were in bed by 11pm (progress). Ellie has a meet and greet at school at 10am so I'll try and get them up about 8am tomorrow with a goal of getting them back on there 8/8:30 to bed schedule within the next 48 hours. I'm hopefully. It was a great day. Home is wonderful. I'm so glad that Max seems to like it and feel comfortable here. It's hard to imagine that two and a half weeks ago he wasn't and now he's such an integral part of our lives. This is fun. Putting him to bed with his bottle in his own room with my family in the other room was one of the best moments in my life. I felt so calm and like everything was as it should be.

Our last day in China

2009-08-21T06:04:00.001-07:00

Today was our last full day in China. I'm ready to go home. I'm ready for my own home and my own bed. I'm ready to snuggle with my cat. I'm ready for Max to see his new home and meet all of our (his) wonderful family and friends. I'm ready to brush my teeth using water from the faucet. I'm ready for a giant salad. I'm ready for some chips and salsa. I'm ready for a diet coke with lots of ice, or maybe a diet mango limeade with sonic ice. Mmmmmm! But, I'm also going to miss China. It's been a wonderful trip and it's a wonderful country. Most of all, I'll miss the people. I think I'll even miss some things that I'm not sure I like. I think it will be an adjustment to not have constant noise, heat, and the feel of people all around you.

Today, we decided to go to a safari park near Guangzhou. It was a fun trip, but hot and tiring too. We hired a driver who picked us up at the hotel after breakfast. It took us about 45 minutes to get to the park which was actually in a neighboring town. The park was in a beautiful setting with lots of trees, plants, and a lake. We started out on the ride through safari. It was really neat. It was a motorized train that drove through natural settings with tons of animals. As you can see from the pictures we were very close. Also, they didn't just have one lion or one bear. There were probably at least 10-12 of every animal. After the ride through safari there was a whole other area that was more like a typical American zoo with lots of animals in natural settings. Very different from the zoo we had visited in Lanzhou. Interestingly people still through food and plastic wrappers to the animals here. I'm not sure why there is that cultural difference. We didn't make it very far in this area because it was so hot, so we decided to watch the monkey show. I'm not quite sure how to describe the monkey show. There were people dressed up in animal costumes (monkeys, pigs, snakes) and also an assortment of real animals, mostly monkeys. The entire show was in Chinese, so we're not really sure of the plot, but it did seem to have one. Even without hearing the jokes it was hilarious. I've never seen anything like it. Both kids were enthralled and giggling. It really seemed like Max understood the jokes because he would laugh when the rest of the audience would. Notice in the pictures of him how wet he is. No, we didn't just go to the water park. This kid sweats more than anyone I know other than Fieser. That was all we could take of the heat, so we got ice cream and headed back to the hotel to pack.

I finally captured the grin!

2009-08-20T05:54:00.001-07:00

Max has this great mischievous grin that I haven't been able to capture on film . . . until now! Here it is! Imagine it combined with a wiggle and a jiggle and you'll have the whole picture.

The rest of our day

2009-08-20T05:36:00.001-07:00

Our consulate appointment only took about two hours and we had the rest of the day free. Mom, Max and I walked back over to the island to finish our shopping. This just made us realize what great deals Ann had gotten us. Jason and Ellie swam some more. After our appointment we had another Chinese meal. It was another non-English speaking adventure. We ordered from the pictures, so we're really not sure what we had, but it was pretty good. I am craving a diet coke with ice and some Mexican food, but I'm trying not to think about it. So far, we have had some western food, but no KFC, Papa John's, McDonald's, etc. At this point, it's becoming tempting though. Tomorrow it's off to the safari park and then trying to stuff all of our purchases into our bags.
I'll try to update tomorrow night, but if not, I'll talk to you all back in the states!

It's over (almost)(finally)

2009-08-20T05:33:00.001-07:00

Today was our last, official, in country adoption appointment. Yesterday the American Consulate reviewed all of our paperwork and found it fit to issue a Visa to Max to enter the country and become a US citizen. Today, we had to appear at the consulate to take an oath and swear that all of this information was true. Sorry, no pictures, there were no cameras allowed. Too bad since we all looked pretty spiffy (or as spiffy as we've looked throughout this trip). This sounds really dull, but it was actually an amazing experience. There were over thirty families there making this same oath with us. These are families most of whom we don't know personally. But, we've been seeing them all with their children throughout our week here. Even though the families and the children are all different, you can see the same look on their faces that you know is on yours. It's just this amazing feeling that your family is finally united. You almost can't believe that it's real. Before the oath they recognized the children with August birthdays, so Max got to be held up and everyone clapped for him. The little ham loved it. I'm sure everyone was jealous that we had the cutest kid in the room, but they held it in well. Then, we all stood and swore that we had told the truth in our paperwork. Not a very monumental oath, but just knowing that this was it, we had made it, Max is our son, we were all teary eyed. We then collected Max's Chinese passport and visa along with his "Brown envelope." These are the things that will make him a US citizen as soon as his passport is stamped in Newark, NJ. Wohoooo!!!!!

Rumor Queen Dinner

2009-08-20T05:24:00.001-07:00

Wednesday night was the Rumor Queen Dinner Party. For those not immersed in the world of China adoptions, let me explain. Rumour Queen, or chinaadopttalk.com is the place to go for the latest information on adoptions in China. Along with a blog and the latest rumors, there is a chat forum where many, many adoptive parents (pre and post adoption) go to chat. This group of people has been a huge source of support during these last two year while we've been working on our adoption. I had never met anyone online before I started this process, and now I have made several lifelong friends of people I've met off of this website. One of the other adoptive mothers who frequents this website arranged for all of the families from this forum who were in Guangzhou this week to get together for dinner and pictures. It was such a fun evening to see all of these people in person and finally united with their children. We all went to the White Swan hotel to take our red couch photos, and then went back to the Italian restaurant for a relaxing dinner and visit. Thanks mdelu for arranging this fun evening!

Beautiful Guangzhou

2009-08-20T05:18:00.001-07:00

We all slept in on Wednesday, but for some reason Ellie awoke in a funk. She was too grumpy to go out, so Jason stayed at the hotel with her where they relaxed in the room. Mom, Max and I went out with our guide Elvin for some sightseeing. We started at YunTai Gardens which was on the outskirts of Guangzhou. It was a beautiful garden. Interestingly, there were statues of various cartoon characters scattered throughout. I'm unclear as to why. I did take a picture of Nemo and Dory. This has been Ellie's favorite movie during this trip. We've watched it five times at least. While in the garden we hiked up a hill to a mountain top view. At the top we had a typical photo op with a Chinese family. Even here in Guangzhou where there are lots of Westerners and lots of adoptive families, there's always someone wanting to take your picture (usually Ellie's, this time ours). I can understand Ellie - she's beautiful. Us, I don't get it.
We were covered in sweat after our hike to the mountain top view, so when our guide told us our next stop was BaiYun Mountain, we cringed. Then he told us there was a cable car to take us to the top, so we recovered. It was a very modern cable car and Max really enjoyed the ride. At the top there was a wonderful view of all of Guangzhou. We were very hot by this point, so we took the cable car back down and headed back for another swim at the hotel pool and a nap for Max.

Free time is wonderful

2009-08-20T05:10:00.001-07:00

On Tuesday we had no appointments. It was lovely. We have been going, going, going this whole trip and we were very glad to have some down time. We started our day as usual with the hotel buffet breakfast. My favorite part of breakfast is the music. For some reason, everywhere we've been in China, they pick the worst American music and make karaoke or elevator versions to play at breakfast. This has mainly consisted of Richard Marx, Christina Aguilera, and Mariah Carey. It's comical what you'll find yourself humming for the remainder of the day. After breakfast we played in the room for a couple of hours. Keep in mind that one week ago it wasn't possible for us to spend even a few minutes playing in the hotel. We are very much enjoying the fact that we can do this now. After this, we had lunch, nap, and then swimming. After swimming we walked over to the island and had Italian for dinner. Even though it was Italian, it was the most truly Western meal we'd had this far. There was real bread, pesto, olive tampenade, pizza, and pasta. Yummy! Our taste buds are certainly starting to crave our usual food. An altogether uneventful, wonderful day.

Random comment from Ellie after picking her nose

2009-08-18T00:18:00.001-07:00

I love burgers. Hamburgers and just boogers.
What a girl.

Shopping with Ann

2009-08-17T20:48:00.001-07:00

After our TB test yesterday we did a bit of swimming. Max is now allowed to get in the water with us since his test has been read. We then ate lunch and took naps (well, one of us did.) After naps we met Ann from Red Thread China in the lobby to do some shopping. For those of you who don't know, Ann's company is the company that we used to send care packages to Max and to get some updates on how he was doing during our long wait. She also offers personal shopping while you are in Guangzhou and we had arranged to spend this afternoon with her. It was a great experience. For anyone considering this I highly recommend it. Unfortunately I was so busy shopping I didn't get many pictures. Once we're home I'll try and upload and add some from mom's camera.

First, a little bit about Ann. Since we had only corresponded by email, I didn't know what to expect. She's great. She's tiny - under 5 feet tall for sure, but full of personality. Very sweet, but not afraid to tell you what she thinks. She has some great facial expressions too. Also, she's speedy. She outpaced all of us for sure. Granted, we were carting a two year old and a four year old with us.

We started by walking about 10 minutes to the jade market. We had been out exploring the area around our hotel, but she took us down paths and in buildings that we hadn't even noticed. We got some beautiful jade pendants and chains. We then went on to the pearl market where she helped us choose some lovely strands of pearls and pearl earrings. Part of her service is that she does all of the cost negotiation for you. I really appreciated this since bargaining is part of the culture here and I am not a skilled bargainer at all. Plus, I know nothing about what to look for in these things and what a good price is. She was great about helping with this too. (I guess she could have been telling us anything, but for the prices we paid even if it's costume jewelry I don't care!) We then went to the antique market and got some more jade and some wooden gifts. This area was remarkable. It was alleyway after alleyway, almost like a maze, but she knew exactly where to go and which vendors to use. Here, I told her that I would like a jade bangle bracelet. We went to her normal vendor who picked out his largest bangle for my wrist. They slipped a plastic bag over my hand and tried to force the bracelet over my wrist. It wouldn't budge. I'm not a big girl. I wear size small gloves at the hospital. But, I've never felt like such a giant. We then had to go to a second vendor who finally found one that would fit. But, this was only after taking me to a back alley and soaping up my hand, my wrist, and the bangle to get it on. (You should have seen me trying to get it off that night!) The kids were pooped after this so Jason took them and the packages back to the hotel and mom and I went to the clothing market to get some beautiful traditional Chinese outfits. The clothing "store" we went to was no bigger than a closet, but packed full of thousands of outfits. It was so hot and there was no air movement. But, after about an hour of digging through stacks of clothes we got all the outfits we wanted. We were then too hot and tired to continue so we returned to the hotel to relieve Jason. We had dinner, played in the room, and got another great night's rest.

Ellie swimming

2009-08-17T20:34:00.001-07:00

Okay, this is my first attempt at a video upload. Let me know by email if it doesn't work since I can't check the blogsite.
This is Ellie showing off her new swimming skills!

The dreaded TB test

2009-08-16T22:39:00.001-07:00

This morning after breakfast was the dreaded reading of the TB skin test. As you can see in the picture, I knew that Max had reacted some to his skin test. But, I didn't have anything to measure his reaction with so we were a bit unsure if he would measure as positive. He did. I had suspected this would happen since he had the BCG vaccine, but even so when it did I got a huge knot of nerves in my stomach.

For those not in the adoption community you may not understand why, so here is a brief explanation. Just this summer new rules have been put in place that all children over two years of age must have a TB skin test prior to entering the USA. If it is positive, it is followed by a chest x-ray. If this is negative, no problem. If there is any sign of active TB the child must remain in China for the entirety of the six months of treatment. At this point, Max has been adopted by us which means that one of us would need to stay here with him for six months. Clearly, this would be difficult to swing with a job and a mortgage and another child. Also, there is some uncertainty about who would pay for his treatment while he was here, but probably it would be us paying for six months of living expenses plus TB treatment out of our pockets.

Thankfully, they were able to do Max's chest x-ray right away and it was NEGATIVE!!!!! NO TB!!!!! You can bet I was in the other room scrutinizing it for any signs, but all was well. This should be the last big hurdle in this adoption. We have the rest of our paperwork and money ready to go to the American Consulate on Wednesday, but our guide doesn't expect any problems with that. We'll know for sure by 11:30am China time on Wednesday. Until then, it's more waiting. After that, it's more waiting. This is really kind of a slow week for us. That's okay, we can use some down time, but at this point we're all getting the itch to head home.

Fwd: Another day in Guangzhou

2009-08-16T22:30:00.001-07:00

On Sunday we slept in late - until about 8:30am. Thankfully, sleep hasn't been an issue for either child. We enjoyed our breakfast buffet again and then met our guide and another family with our group in the lobby about 9:45. We drove the van over to the Chin Family Temple for a visit. It was a beautiful temple in and of itself and inside were several areas where Chinese crafts were displayed. There was an area for vases/ceramics, an area of bone carvings, an area of statues and gardens, a room with beautiful embroidery (see the picture of the fish - also Max's favorite animal and one of a few Mandarin words we understand), an area with craftsmen painting Mah Jong tiles, and an area where a man painted using only his hands (no brushes). We enjoyed wandering about, but it was getting very hot and all of the kids were getting grumpy. There was another bathroom incident that ended with a very old Chinese lady yelling at Ellie and I (in Chinese, so I have no idea about what), but needless to say we were ready to go after about an hour and a half. We came back to the hotel and had lunch here as well and then Jason put Max down for a nap while Ellie and I went swimming. Once Max was asleep grandma took over with him and Jason joined Ellie and I at the pool.

Ellie has made giant strides in her swimming this summer. At the beginning of the summer it was a huge achievement for her to put her face in the water. Now, she can jump in and go under, and she is even starting to swim some. Probably 5-10 feet, but definite swimming and keeping herself afloat. She even swims underwater holding her breath. And, we're seeing the beginnings of a back float. It's a pretty significant change.

After swimming, somebody was cranky. We knew she was tired, but it was only about 5pm and if she fell asleep then the night would be ugly. We rallied the troops and went out for a walk. We decided to try walking over to Shamian Island. This is a man made island in the Pearl River that is full of British colonial style buildings. It is very pretty and fairly Americanized. One of the other families said it reminded them of New Orleans and I think that is a pretty good analogy. New Orleans is stinkier though. It took us 15-20 minutes, but was no a bad walk. Once we were there we ate at a Western style restaurant which was pretty good. I always said when I came to China I would only eat Chinese food. I was wrong. I've been craving familiarity so this hit the spot. After dinner we watched the boats and the lights on the water for a bit and then came back to the hotel for a good nights sleep.

Our first day in Guangzhou

2009-08-15T06:52:00.001-07:00

After getting in so late Friday night, we were so pleased to sleep in this morning. Jason and I didn't get up until 8, and both kids slept until we opened the curtains at 8:30am. Jason, Mom and the kids went down to the breakfast which they reported was very nice. Food is very important in this family and so the made to order omelets and actual Western style bacon are important things to note. At 9:30 Jason, Max, and I met our guide Elvin to head to the medical exam for Max. Mom stayed with Ellie and gave her some undivided attention which was wonderful for her and for us. Before we made it to the medical exam we met up with two other families from our adoption agency who are staying at another hotel. It was so nice to see some other people in similar situations and to just chat about what we had been up to. Next, we went and got some more photos taken for Max's visa application. They're pitiful. He's crying and his face is all red. But, who did he reach for when he was upset? That's right, mama! We're getting there. We then went into the medical clinic. It was amazing. There were probably 40 other adoptive families in and out during the two and a half hours that we were there. I loved seeing the wide range of families and the wide range of kiddos that they were adopting. There are just so many kids out there with manageable needs just waiting for families. It was great to see these kids finding there forever homes. While we were at the appointment, Max had to be measured, weighed, and had a very basic physical and ENT exam. Nothing unexpected there. He also had his PPD (TB skin test) placed. We'll find out Monday if that is positive or not. If it is, which it very well may be since he's had the BCG vaccine, he'll need a CXR to determine if he has active disease. This is what counts. This has to be negative for us to bring him home. We have no reason to think he does have active TB, but there will be a nagging worry until this is done. While this was all going on, Max had to go to the restroom. I volunteered to take him (this is usually Jason's job). I quickly came to regret this decision. We went into the squatty potty and Max squatted right down to potty. But, he was turned the wrong way so his tush wasn't over the pot. This was fine until he made the last minute decision to take a dump which went all over the floor. I had to clean that up and then, I couldn't figure out how to flush. I feel sorry for the next person to use that restroom.
After we were done with the medical exam we came back to the hotel, had some lunch, and Jason put Max down for a nap while I took Ellie swimming. We had to check out the pool first to make sure there were no swimming caps required. Thankfully it was a good old fashioned western pool. No swim caps required. We swam for about 45 minutes and then Jason came up to swim with her for another hour and a half more while Mom watched Max nap. Our guide came to get me and we met up with one of the other families to do paperwork. We now have everything pretty much ready to submit for Max's visa once we get his medical report back on Monday. It feels so good to have that paperwork done. It's just one step closer to actually bringing him home. Once I got back from our paperwork marathon we got the kids dressed and went out exploring. Unfortunately I was lazy with the camera and didn't get any pictures today. Mom has some, but I can't upload them to the blog from her camera. We walked down the street from our hotel where there is a pet market. There were cats, dogs, fish, chipmunks, turtles, lizards, and birds for sale. The kids loved this. Then we walked over to the pedestrian shopping street and just looked around a bit. We ended up at a Cantonese restaurant next to our hotel where we had a really good meal. We had some fried pork with honey flavoring (yummy), some sauteed chicken with green vegetables (good except for the chicken head on the plate), some fried rice with shrimp and pork (good), and some egg rolls with probably chicken in them (very good). Both kids put away some serious food and were looking tired so we made our exit and came back to the hotel to play awhile and then hit the hay. Both of them fell asleep quickly giving mommy time to blog and daddy time for some extra snores. We're hoping every day in Guangzhou goes as smoothly as today was.

When your sliding into first with your pants about to burst

2009-08-15T06:35:00.001-07:00

Yep, that's right, all of us grown ups have had it. Thank goodness the kids haven't. Mine started Thursday night. Jason went to a concert by the Central China Orchestra with Dr. Lu and mom and I stayed in and put the kids to bed. I woke up Friday feeling icky. Mom and Jason took the kids to breakfast and played in mom's room while I took some cipro, pepto, and got some sleep. Thankfully that seemed to take care of it and I felt much better by lunchtime (not that I ate). We then had to pack up and check out of our hotel.
Dr. Lu came by one last time to say goodbye (this man is amazing). His family also got our family some very thoughtful gifts. They got Max a statue of the horse from WuWei and they got both kids some traditional Chinese outfits. Ellie has already had hers on dancing around like a beautiful princess. The grown ups got some lovely silk scarves.
After we checked out we went to the Yellow River Park. Back in the day, goods were transported down the river using Sheepskin rafts. There is an area there today where they still make these. They basically skin a sheep whole, seal the skin with oil, dry it, and inflate it like a balloon. They then take lots of these inflated sheep skins and use them to float rafts down the river. What's amazing to me is that the skin still looks like a sheep. It's kind of creepy. You can take rides on these rafts down the river, but we declined. We also saw the statue of the Yellow River Mother which was very nice and then walked down the river to one of the old water wheels. Jason was fascinated of course. It was How It's Made in person. It was really neat. It was probably the coolest thing we had seen in Lanzhou. After this we had a light dinner and drove to the airport. Ellie was tired and ready to be on the plane, so she was a bit out of sorts. Thankfully, she held it together. She conked out shortly after we got on the plane. Max did really well also, especially considering it was his first plane flight and he doesn't like to be cooped up. He sat and played for about an hour, then ate some dinner (yes they serve full meals on in China flights), and then he fell asleep too. We thought we had that flight licked. Then, when we went to get the kids off of the plane we realized Ellie had pottied in the airplane seat. Awesome. Thankfully, the flight attendants were very understanding. I got her cleaned up while mom and Jason got the luggage and handled Max. Then we made the long drive into Guangzhou.
What we first noticed about Guangzhou was the driving. It was tame. Nothing like what we were used to in Beijing or Lanzhou. And, it was quiet. There was no honking. Our guide Elvin said that in Guangzhou they ticket people for honking too much! What a change. It took us about 45 minutes to get to our hotel. We are staying at the Holiday Inn Shifu which is not the traditional hotel for adoptive parents. It is quite nice, but in a more traditional busy part of Guangzhou right on a busy pedestrian shopping street. We were very pleased to check into our large, updated hotel rooms and crash for the night at about 12:30am.